Sunday, July 21, 2013


I have 4 nephews that I love. I also love my sister and brother-in-law. I also put a lot of value on cousins getting to spend time together as I have such good memories as a kid of playing with mine. So, since we saw David and Jennie for a couple of days in November when they came to visit us here, it was our turn to go visit them in Detroit. James didn’t have enough vacation to join us, plus he was preaching this month, so I decided to drive my 3 children across the country on my own to go visit them. It’s 20 driving hours from Denver to Detroit.

For those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, I tried to have fun with the trip. I’m transferring all of my antics over here so that I remember the trip and can pass along the craziness to the kids when they’re older.

7/13: Carmaggedon Update 1: On the road by 7:15. Score: Me – 1; Kids – 0. But it’s still early, folks. Very very early.


7/13: Carmaggedon Update 2: And just like that, we have a game, people! We started our first video, and Emma wasn’t wearing her headphones. I asked why.

Emma: One time, I put them on, and they didn’t work.

Me: Do they need batteries?

Emma: No.

Me: How do you know?

See photo. Tie score. Me – 1; Kids – 1


FYI that Walmart does not sell wireless car headphones. I said to the lady in electronics: I’m in the first 10 minutes of a 20 hour drive with these kids. You and your company have failed me.

Actually, I didn’t say that to her, but I wanted to. After we got back to the car, only then did I remember that we had purchased a third set (for Nathan) that we weren’t using. I should have given the kids another point for that, but I wasn’t willing to give up so much ground so early. And it’s my game. So.

7/13: Camaggedon Update 3: Ellie lost her headphones. We’re in a car. Maybe 60 sf of space tops. Sigh. Me – 1; Kids – 2.

P.S. As soon as I got the car pulled over, she magically found them.

7/13: Carmaggedon Update 4: We had our first stop at 11, and it was successful. By that, I mean I got to pee and didn’t lose any children. Also, the kids opted for a “snack lunch” (stuff from a gas station instead of a restaurant). That saved us an hour. Me – 2; Kids – 3.

7/13: Carmaggedon Update 5 and 6: You know that snack lunch that I mentioned in update 4? Turns out it entailed a jalapeno corn dog for my son and a huge Hershey bar for my daughter.


Me – 2; Kids – 4 and 5



  Also, I hate Nebraska. Sorry, but I do. Not only is the state boring, but apparently they don’t believe in their citizens needing cellular data unless they’re within 10 miles of a city. Which is just rude. Seriously. It’s like you cross the Iowa border, and it immediately gets beautiful again. It begs the question of whether God may have taken a quick snooze before day 7.

7/13: Carmaggedon Update 7: A) Giving him the entire bag of Bugles seemed like a good idea. Did I learn NOTHING from lunch? B) Nathan had his first dirty diaper of the day. He doesn’t get a point for that as it was inevitable, but he does get a point for the fact that I apparently left our only package of wipes in the last gas station. Me – 2; Kids – 5.


7/13: Carmaggedon Update 8: The jalapeno corn dog came back to bit me in a most unpleasant way. As in, I went ahead and just threw his pants away. (When I thought of them sitting in the car for the next 2 days, the answer was obvious.) Then, I had planned on a McDonald’s dinner, but the girls said they wanted pizza. Dang. It’s like they’re onto this game. I have to give them a point for that, too. Me – 2; Kids – 7. (And seriously. How cute are they?)


7/13: Carmaggedon Update 9 and Day 1 Summary: You know, it was a really great day. I’m really proud of my kids, and I’m a little proud of me, too. We did 12 of the 20 hours today with only 8 to go tomorrow, and we’re all tucked into our hotel. I’m giving myself 1 point for every nap a child takes (2). I get 5 bonus points for the fact that my son did not cry once. Not one time. So very blessed by all 3 of them but especially by his happy disposition. Kids get one more point for acting like crazy people when they got to the hotel. I get why and all, but it was a display worthy of a point. Final day 1 score: Me – 9; Kids – 6.



7/14: Carmaggedon Update 1: All 3 kids slept all night long and didn’t wake up until I woke them up at 7:30. We’re on the road and breakfasted by 8:30. For those of you who haven’t parented young children in a while, I ought to get 20 points for that. But, I’ll just take 3. I have my Grande soy extra pump no water no foam chai (no, I’m not high maintenance), and ETA in Detroit (before stops) is 4:54pm. Bring it!

Me – 11; Kids – 8


Sent from me to James on FB: I feel like if you were here, my windshield view would be a lot clearer. Guess I’d better break down and clean it at my next gas stop. I still view it as your responsibility, though.


7/14: Carmaggedon Update 2: Learned my lesson both with giving Nathan a smaller portion of pretzels and no jalapeno corn dog today. First stop complete, windshield is clean, and I got to pee.

Me – 12; Kids – 8


7/14: Camaggedon Update 3: We’ve hit that hyper part of the day. I’ll give the kids a courtesy point for the amusing display.

Me – 12; Kids – 9

P.S. I kept my eyes on the road during the duration of this video and am posting all of these updates either while stopped or with my voice to text program.

7/14: Carmaggedon Update 4: Well. It really can’t be a Carmaggedon without vomit, right? Nathan just choked on a piece of pretzel and threw up. I’ll spare you a photo on this one.

Me – 12; Kids – 10

And 5 hour energy drinks are fine for a 1 yo who just threw up, right? (J/K. It was empty when I gave it to him.


7/14: Carmaggedon Update 5 and Day 2 Summary: We made it!!! I get 2 more points for naps, and then Nathan gets the kids one more well-deserved point. About 45 minutes before we got here, he pooped. I pulled over on the side of the highway to change him, and I’m so glad I did. We lost that pair of shorts, too. I literally threw them on the grass on the side of the road. I feel badly about that, but it had to be done.

Final score: Me – 14; Kids – 11. Woohoo! I beat them!


For the 4 days we were in Detroit, I did some Cousin Quotables. Here they are:

Cousin Quotable 1: We just put the big kids to bed (Georgie, 7, Ellie, 7, James, 5 and Emma, 5) all in one room. After some talking, we gave strict orders for them to be quiet and go to sleep. Georgie just came down to report that James and Emma wouldn’t stop talking. We told him to pass along the message for them to stop. George says: But Mom. They need threats!

Then those same 4 cuties woke up at 6:45am the first day. Goodness!


We took the kids to the zoo the first day in Toledo. It was HOT, but we had fun.


We got them McDonald’s afterward. And I did this:


Not my best idea.

Cousin Quotable 2, also credited to George (7): He and Ellie watched a show in the car on the way to Toledo. He asked Ellie for the DVD remote. She asked why he needed it as the show was already playing. In typical male form, he says: I just need to check the configurations.

And all the women rolled their eyes.

Cousin Quotable 3 goes to James, 5: Aunt Amy, will you please open this? It’s dark in the glow goo!


Here’s the babies being cute on the way to Ikea while the big kids were at Sita Peg’s day care on day 2.

Cousin Quotable 4 goes to James, 5:

James: Aunt Amy, I fell in wove with Ewie.

Me: You did? Today at day care?

James: No. Wast night we were pwaying famiwy. Ewie was the mom, and George was the dad and I was the bwotha. And. I just fell in wove with her.


Cousin Quotable 5 goes to George, 7, and is further evidence of how “all boy” he is. Ellie broke her pink water gun. George says: Aunt Amy, I can totally fix this with a few modifications.

Duct tape and a piece of plastic were then mentioned. Again, I say “And all the women rolled their eyes.”


A couple of photos from the water park. Jen and I were pretty excited we kept all 7 kids safe for 4 hours. It wasn’t easy.




Cousin Quotable 6 goes to Emma, 5 regarding Joey: I don’t mind fighting with that baby, but he’s got game. He has swowads and guns, and he knows how to use them.


On day 4, we squeezed in a visit with Gunther and Jane Schlender. Their daughter, Nancy is married to Mike Winegeart who did our wedding. We’re good friends with the Winegeart family, and the Schlenders were in Oxford when I was there for my 6 weeks of study abroad. They’ve lived in Detroit for years and were only about 20 minutes away. It was so great to see them!


I then introduced George and James to geocaching. There were some rough mosquitoes, but I think George in particular really enjoyed it.


Later that afternoon, we took all 7 kids to see Turbo. We tried to get a sitter for the babies, but we weren’t successful. We just took them. They weren’t terrible, but there was a woman who got in a verbal argument with us after as she thought their noise was unfair to her kids. Oops! We went to a 4:30 matinee of a kids’ movie. Seems like it wasn’t completely out of line, but we did apologize. She just didn’t accept our apologies. :)


Then on Friday, I started round 2 of Carmaggedon. I added a few hours to the trip to be able to go get in a quick visit with the Cornwells. On Friday, we drive the quick 5 hours to Indianapolis.

7/19: Carmaggedon Update 1: My goal was to be on the road by 9am. We pulled out of the driveway at 8:50. I think this is proof that it’s James that always makes us late. I get 2 points for that. Me – 2; Kids – 0.


7/19: Carmaggedon Update 2: Kids gain 2 points. One for Nathan being a general crank. The other for Emma just being cute in the following exchange:

Me: Girls, look! We just crossed into Indiana! That’s where they live.

Emma: Awa we close?

Me: About 2 more hours.

Emma: WOW! That’s not long at all! I can’t wait to see my goylfwiends Weagan, Wiley and Weese!

(for Reagan, Riley and Reese)  

7/19: Carmaggedon Update 3: A well deserved point for the kids (and McDonald’s for that matter) for the Despicable Me toys that have me contemplating selling them. (The kids. Not the toys.)

Me – 2; Kids – 3

7/19: Carmaggedon Update 4: We made it!! A fairly uneventful 5 hour drive , so I’ll give myself one more point for that. Me – 3; Kids – 3.


We swam, had pizza, had a wonderful dessert Reagan made, and then settled the kids down for a movie while Paul and Lori introduced me to Carcassonne.


7/20: Carmaggedon Update 5: Day 2 of 3, and we’re on the road by 7. Mountain time, that is. :) 9 here. Here’s the silly face version of my crew and one more point for me for not choosing to leave them at the Cornwells and buy a plane ticket home.

Me – 4; Kids – 3.


7/20: Carmaggedon Update 6: Kids get 2 points. One for Emma managing to not use the restroom AT ALL this morning before we left, and one for Ellie losing her headphones again. In a car.

Me – 4; Kids – 5.

7/20: Carmaggedon Update 7: 3 more points for me! One for the nap depicted below. (I could just eat him up.) One because the girls opted for another quick snack lunch. And 1 for the “foot high” pie I found at a roadside cafe. Chocolate. Yum. I’ll regret it later. But for now, I’m giving myself a point for it!

Me – 7; Kids – 5.


7/20: Carmaggedon Update 8: Dang. Just like that, the kids get a point as the girls managed to wake Nathan up not 20 minutes into his nap. I am not a happy Momma. Praying he’ll go back to sleep. (And yes. Of course I’ll take another point if he does. Maybe 2!!)

Me – 7; Kids – 6.

(P.S. He didn’t.)

I then randomly passed the Wheel of Fortune truck! I posted: I’m pretty sure I need to follow them and demand to be a contestant at their next taping. I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Vanna in the passenger seat. But alas. She’s probably in the back napping.


7/20: Carmaggedon Update 9: I think Nathan is playing his own game with a point system to see how many of his pants I’ll be forced to throw away. Score another one for him.

Me – 7; Kids – 8.



7/20: Carmaggedon Update 10: I’m about 3 diapers short of what I’m going to need for this trip. It’s raining, so I went with what the gas station had. Apparently, they’re not familiar with my pants-ruining son. I think Julie is right that Nathan automatically wins, but I’ll keep up the ruse for a few more hours.

Me – 7; Kids – 9.


7/20: Carmaggedon Update 11: I tried to think ahead and make things easier on myself for this trip, so I got one of those reusable bags and put one days' worth of clothes and our toiletries in it for our hotel night. The handle on the bag broke on the way to Detroit. So, I put the bag in an Olive Garden to go sack with handles for the way home. This just happened. So, this point is less for the kids and more against me.   

Me – 7; Kids – 10.


7/21: Carmaggedon Update 12: Slept well and had a good breakfast. About to finish our last 5 hours. Dear God, I know what a miracle I’m asking for.. But Nathan’s shorts. I’m begging you. I don’t have any more that aren’t on the bottom. So. Please. Amen.

Me – 8; Kids – 10.


7/21: Carmaggedon Update 13: I don’t even have any words.

Me – 0; Nathan – 1000.



And just like that, Carmaggedon is over! We’re home, and James got home to greet us shortly after we arrived. Thanks for joining me on my crazy (and shall we say overly poop-filled) journey. I must say, it wasn’t that bad. I would do it again if I had to. But not until I’ve had my spa weekend.



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